xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#' Yeah. Good Times.: And no information was actually imparted

Sunday, April 22, 2012

And no information was actually imparted

When I told hubs this story, his response, after laughing at me and face-palming, was the title of this post.

It was Sunday morning, it was early, I hadn't had any coffee or even gotten out of bed yet, and Child 2 randomly asks me "Mama, are you pregnant?"

I probably could have been offended by that, but I was pretty sure he didn't actually know what that means. So I said "No. Do you know what that means?"

"Yes," he said. "But it's hard to explain." That means he had no idea.

I didn't realize how right he was, though, and suddenly I'm faced with having to explain something that's really hard to explain to a 6 year old. Sunday morning. Early. Before coffee.

And so I say "It's, uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh............ it's where babies come from. It's how you make new people. A baby grows in a Mama's tummy for 9 months and then it comes out and it's a baby."

Damn I'm good. I should win parenting awards. People should write books about me. Instructional manuals!

"Do you understand?" I asked, hoping this was the end of it.

"I think so," he said.

PHEW.

"But how do you know when it starts?" He asks.

Shit.

"It, uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh............ You, uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.................. "

Shit.

.............. long pause ...........

uncomfortable laugh

.............. long pause ...........

"You go to your doctor and she tells you."

He looks confused. I pray for hubs to enter the room and save me. He doesn't.

"We'll talk about it some more later," I say, officially putting an end to the torture.

That seemed to do the trick. I'll have hubs fill in some of the blanks.....